there is no chance and Ik that. Being alone gives me time to finallly process and heal. I’m so tired. To much ptsd #tw #trauma #traumadump #ptsd #altgirl #manipultiverelationship #abusiverelationship #gaslighting #favoriteperson | I was stupid for thinking fairytales were real and Ik that now | The version of him I created in my head never existed. That person is not here on this earth and never was. It was an illusion. A lie catered to my desires as a trap. The sweetest trap that I’ll always be wishing could have been true. | Don’t let an abuser be your FP | The him I now know is real I wish was d3@d. I can’t enjoy any of those 4 1/2 years. Everything was a lie. All the happy moments and pillow talk. It means nothing now. I can’t use claw machines anymore. I’ll never vape pinacolada flavor again. I can’t listen to strange music. I will never go to New Mexico. I will never recover from the band aide rip off of finding out the person I’d give my life for. The person I chose over my own family, the person I became homeless due to. The person who took all of my firsts. A horrifying monster from the darkest cracks of humanity.